My 20 by 20

So I’m a little late in writing this. My bday was actually in February. But, here goes. Below I’m listing 20 things that I learned by the time I turned 20. (Not in any particular order.)

  1. No Mud, No Lotus.
    • This one is HUGE to me! So much so that I got a tattoo to commemorate it. It is a common phrase, and Thich Nhat Hanh wrote a book on it. Although, I’m not sure that that’s the actual origin. I think that everyone interprets the phase a little differently, but in my oversimplified brain it means this: The most beautiful things can come out of the shittiest situations.
  2. Nobody is perfect
    • It seems like an obvious thing, but it is so easy to compare yourself to others. It’s important to remember that you are only seeing what they want you to see. A majority of people don’t publicize their flaws and insecurities.
  3. Everyone needs someone.
    • I don’t necessarily mean romantically. Friends are soooooo important. Everyone needs a sounding board, a dinner companion, a board game buddy, etc.
  4. Disabled isn’t a bad word.
    • As some one with a chronic illness, people saying things like differently- abled and others like that PISS ME OFF! I am disabled. I am limited. Shying away from a word isn’t going to change it. If anything it is minimizing my illness.
  5. Parents aren’t here forever.
    • My father died when I was 19. It was heartbreaking. It is heartbreaking. Hug your parents while you can. (My dad gave the best hugs) Listen to their stories, learn their recipes, take photos, cherish them.
  6. Opinions aren’t facts.
    • It doesn’t matter how strong your belief is if it isn’t accurate, win arguments by fighting with facts not feelings.
  7. Embrace your mistakes.
    • This kind of goes with the no mud no lotus. Learn from you mistakes, make something out of them, learn!
  8. Grades aren’t everything.
    • My senior year of high school, I got a 35% in a course that was worth 3 credits. 3 CREDITS! But I needed to prioritize my mental heath, so course work took a back seat, and regardless of the blow to my GPA I got into 8 colleges. (C’s get degrees)
  9. Apologize.
    • Admitting your wrong is hard. Really hard. But, apologizing is imperative to moving on.
  10. Prioritize yourself.
    • It isn’t selfish, it’s important.
  11. Learning to cook is important af.
    • Being able to feed yourself is huge when it comes to budgeting. It’s also an easy way to impress people, and makes eating healthier way easier (if that’s a goal you have, i like to cook a lot of cake though. a lot.)
  12. Never underestimate the value of a shoulder to lean on.
    • I don’t really have an explanation for this… so here’s jolexWhen-Jo-Has-His-Shoulder-Lean
  13. Make up is not for everyone.
    • I personally hate wearing makeup. The last time I did was when I was in disney because I wanted to look cute in all the photos. But here’s the thing… it fucking rained. I looked like a raccoon. I’m always worried I’ll touch my face and ruin it, or that I did it wrong. PLUS the added pressure to wash your face every night. No thanks.
  14. Weight is not everything.
    • I am one to be fixated with the number on the scale. But it really isn’t everything. Water weight, the fact that muscle weighs more. The scale is stupid. STUPID.
  15. The phone works both ways.
    • Don’t let anyone guilt you into feeling bad about not being in touch. They are just as capable of picking up a phone.
  16. Confidence?
    • It is hard. So frickin hard. I can’t find it, but there was a TED talk saying that if you spend a couple minutes each day looking at yourself in the mirror naked, whether it be while you brush your teeth or before you get in the shower, that it will raise your confidence. I think this is a super interesting mentality. I recently starting wearing crop tops and shorts around friends, and being able to do so, having to accept my insecurities in front of them, has led me accept myself in general. (A fun symptom of my POTS is blood pooling, so a majority of the time my legs kinda look purple. Hence the hesitance towards shorts.)
  17. Unfollow, unlike, unsubscribe.
    • If you find yourself upset looking at someones social media, no matter the reason, unfollow them.
  18. Life isn’t fair.
    • Shit happens.
  19. Be kind.
    • Throw kindness around like confetti. (So corny, I know)
  20. There is good in the world.
    • People can be kind. People can have good intentions. It doesn’t always seem like it, but there is good.


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One Comment on “My 20 by 20

  1. Emma…..very wise thoughts! Even though parts of your journey are very hard, your outlook and fortitude are inspirational. Thank you for sharing! Love & Hugs A.Ellie xo xo xo


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